Patients and Patience in the Eternal Presence of Healing

2.5.2016

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dreams-and-visions-of-the-dying_us_56b24a88e4b04f9b57d81b9d?cps=gravity_5017_1252256921861042625

January 15, 2016 was the 29th anniversary of my first dance with the arching angles of Death. This initial experience of dying did far more than change my ideas about living; gone was the fear of death hammered into me by family, preachers and supposed teachers; in an instant my terror of being misunderstood, judged and a verdict rendered “Unworthy”, evaporated. In its place was the engulfing presence of unconditional compassion whose veracity catalysed the unassailable realisation that the life I had erroneously thought I was living was pure fiction. My absolute reluctance to return was only slightly weaker than the intent of one who was determined to pull me back.

Three weeks later, my heart stopped again, this time for no discernible reason. Au contraire. In an experience many consider a ‘dream’ I was presented with a choice; that I could live or go home, die. It was not an easy decision then, and today thinking about that moment causes tears to overflow… Eternity, no time and timelessness….. So it is that this weekend brings me to what is perhaps the most important anniversary in my life. 07 February, its 29-years since that cold night in Chicago when I said ‘Yes’, agreeing to stay. Simply put, dying gave me my reason for living.

Those who know me best know that keeping my commitment has come at a high cost, a price most would be unwilling to pay.

The video you will see here may help you understand why I have never wavered. Dr. Christopher Kerr is one of my new ‘heroes’, spending day after day nurturing those who are dying, and in their progress he has been embraced by pure grace. I share his message and stories with more than a modicum of hope that hearing his words might help some of those I love understand why doing what I do has never been an option. Many espouse the belief that God is the single most important factor in their lives; consulted in every decision they make. Tragically, examination of the evidence leaves me wondering what happened to Love? even though their lives present evidence to the contrary.

Thankfully, my NDEs are no longer anecdotal, and what I experienced —the Mereon Matrix— was retrieved and is daily being further recalled and constructed. It continues to provide evidence that we are walking a living continuum, knowledge that supports the growing realisation that life continues beyond what we think of as ‘dying’. This video was a powerful reminder of why I am able to keep on keeping on despite many emotional ‘deaths’, pain, personal loss and ongoing grief caused by emotional paper-cuts. Choosing to live and speak what is true for me, mapping what is to date the simplest known ligature, connection of Love, has led to my being severed from former friends and dearly loved relatives. While I am the first to admit that there are that the sorrow feels never-ending, thankfully, being free to express my sadness, and powerful reminders such as this video carry me through, living a life filled with breakthroughs rather than the breakdown some might ‘wish’.

Sadly, love is too often conditional, relative to what we say or do. Perhaps if our relatives and those we love understood relativity, that the laws of physics, how things, including loving relationships work, are the same everywhere, our lives might change as well as how we live every breath on the edge of death whether we like it or not.

Light and Dark II: Relational Round-Abouts, Caves and Dead-Ends

Yesterday a dear friend responded to the Dia.BLOG.ue, the post entitled ‘Light or Dark’ on Facebook, writing “I prefer walking alone in the light until I meet a friend, but I will not stay in the dark, just to avoid to be alone!”27 july 2015

In full agreement with her sentiments, I know full well that being alone has nothing to do with loneliness, the lethal epidemic that is cutting down so many. Continue reading Light and Dark II: Relational Round-Abouts, Caves and Dead-Ends

Rainbows in My Brain

brain based learningA fabulous image found at http://funderstanding.com! 

First, let me remind you of something I tell myself every day: that every word I dare to publish in this Dia.BLOG.ue comes from and with the full knowledge that not one of us is going to die a natural death where the cause of death will read “Terminal uniqueness”.

For this reason, whenever my body, heart, brain or spirit go into a state I call ‘mid-mourning’, remembering to keep my heart open, my head up, my ‘wings’ unfurled, and my eyes open is critical, because rainbows only appear mid-morning or past mid-afternoon.

For me, these glorious Technicolor arcs are runways or launch pads, and just seeing the conditions for one helps me prepare for wheels up or lift-off. When they do, my spirit goes into flight mode and suddenly my burdens, usually an illusion, and fear, too often a delusion, soars into the Gratitude Zone that is essential for perspective and to return to Love.

The thing to remember is that a rainbow can’t appear in our physical reality when the sun is high. It seems local to me that this is why when I’m reaching for ‘light’ or running too fast; or when I get stuck or otherwise park myself under an emotional cloud; or when I forget and start thinking a Thought to death that I wind up lost in mental fog my spirit wandering in a self-generated miasma. No doubt this is why when an inner rainbow does appear, as well one in the heavens, it feels like the miracle that it is.

I’ve learned, yes, the $%^&* hard way, that when I’m in pain, staying open, keeping my sense of humour and facing whatever the storm is brewing or raging is critical, because when the light breaks through that’s the only place the rainbow is going to appear.

A MidLight Snack

When our heart lights are on full beam, the path ahead of us is clear and our attitudes can easily lift. Such lightness is the key to harnessing freedom. Becoming and being the Light we are meant to be is the only way to bring about the Compassion that is ready to be felt, heard and seen!