Doubt, Depression and Expectations

The hardest thing about sorrow, self-doubt, anger and depression is how while these very real feelings may well be rooted in rock-solid reasons, they resist or deny reasoning. Sometimes such emotions are best ‘suffered’ in near silence, letting your spirit cry and whisper with one you trust rather than emoting in ways that cause others pain.

You won’t drown in your tears. The fear that you won’t be able to stop, or make yourself stop isn’t true.

There is a time for anger. Just take care not to impale your soul or wound the heart of another with rage.

Rainbows in My Brain

brain based learningA fabulous image found at http://funderstanding.com! 

First, let me remind you of something I tell myself every day: that every word I dare to publish in this Dia.BLOG.ue comes from and with the full knowledge that not one of us is going to die a natural death where the cause of death will read “Terminal uniqueness”.

For this reason, whenever my body, heart, brain or spirit go into a state I call ‘mid-mourning’, remembering to keep my heart open, my head up, my ‘wings’ unfurled, and my eyes open is critical, because rainbows only appear mid-morning or past mid-afternoon.

For me, these glorious Technicolor arcs are runways or launch pads, and just seeing the conditions for one helps me prepare for wheels up or lift-off. When they do, my spirit goes into flight mode and suddenly my burdens, usually an illusion, and fear, too often a delusion, soars into the Gratitude Zone that is essential for perspective and to return to Love.

The thing to remember is that a rainbow can’t appear in our physical reality when the sun is high. It seems local to me that this is why when I’m reaching for ‘light’ or running too fast; or when I get stuck or otherwise park myself under an emotional cloud; or when I forget and start thinking a Thought to death that I wind up lost in mental fog my spirit wandering in a self-generated miasma. No doubt this is why when an inner rainbow does appear, as well one in the heavens, it feels like the miracle that it is.

I’ve learned, yes, the $%^&* hard way, that when I’m in pain, staying open, keeping my sense of humour and facing whatever the storm is brewing or raging is critical, because when the light breaks through that’s the only place the rainbow is going to appear.

A MidLight Snack

When our heart lights are on full beam, the path ahead of us is clear and our attitudes can easily lift. Such lightness is the key to harnessing freedom. Becoming and being the Light we are meant to be is the only way to bring about the Compassion that is ready to be felt, heard and seen!

Self-talk and Compassion

talk to the handAuto-posting this DiaBLOGue to other social media sites has led to many connections, some are amazing while others fall into the category of ‘interesting’. While each one offers possible connection, every day brings an opportunity to make a conscious choice where I must decide whether or not to participate in the conversations that are found there. Those that are most worthwhile are true dialogues, those where others take time to read and offer meaningful feedback. These groups are those that I’ve decided to remain in, and continue to participate.

Such groups are incredible opportunities for good, however too many are playgrounds for bullies, where chaos rules and shaming others behaviours and blaming others is normal. Reading such posts quickly make me aware of what’s going on for me at that moment. If it bothers me the only reason is that it amplifies or magnifies the seed of that quality in my life. So it is that I’m presented with an opportunity to heal my heart and change my mind! Turning on the news it is clear that we are capable of amazing good and acts of unmitigated horror both to ourselves and one another. What if it is true that we are the product of true Love? What if it’s true that we are the Universe creating herself and co-creating the ‘realities’ that we share? What happens when our words and actions are incoherent, out of harmony, with the Love Knot that makes us all we are capable of being?

One of the terms that being thrown around these days is ‘fascism’, and yet few seem to know what it really is. From my perspective it’s the unwholly union of politics, religion and big business. Frankly, if we don’t like what’s going on in the world, laws and actions put into play by those that ‘We the people’ have the right and responsibility to elect, we have only to look at our actions or inaction. Living in a country that where there is freedom, democracy, is a gift that cannot be taken for granted or assumed as a given. Making our voices heard, in a blog as well as in a vote, is a privilege. Abdicating erases the right to complain, and may well eradicate human rights as a consequence.

Our responsibility is to respond to the best of our ability. How often do we react after abdicating our rights? For me it’s important to look inside every day to reconsider how I use tools such as this DiaBLOGue or Facebook. Are we simply promoting our own agendas? Is it an attempt to assert our will and get our way? Or is it an opportunity to get away with inexcusable behaviour?

Every post I make is an effort to express compassion and extend understanding, helping to bring about a resolution between loving and fear through one of many intentional experiences. The ‘How’ is through the realization that having the courage to love brings with it the existential fear of losing that which we love. For me living is about discovering that loving is all about openness, most especially holding those we love on an open palm, for this is what lets them move when they must and return when they choose and we agree. Mutually beneficial relationships are only possible as long as we are able to love.

Today, rather than attacking, shaming, blaming or pointing a finger, I consciously choose to accept that what I see in another is my lesson, and that person is my teacher.

I’m away for a long weekend and hope you enjoy yours as much as I am going to appreciate celebrating mine in the cool mountain air in the north!